Is your relationship or marriage struggling? If so what can you do?
Are there specific actions we can take in order to “save a relationship?”
Many people make millions of dollars helping others “save their relationships” but is it really as complicated as they make it seem?
Here are three easy things you should try first before you spend hundreds on overpriced marriage counselors…
1. Let Your Partner In
Well, we don’t need a doctorate degree in relationship psychology to assume that it’s more than a coincidence that your relationship started to suffer when you started keeping your big, juicy secrets from your partner….or vice versa.
No matter how naturally intuitive someone happens to be, most people in a relationship can tell when our partner is withholding information from us.
If you’re afraid to tell your partner something (that you don’t like your job any more, that you don’t feel sexually desirable, that you miss how much you used to touch each other in a non-sexual way, etc.) and it’s weighing heavily on your mind, then your best bet is to TELL THEM.
Tell them that you want to tell them about it because you love them so much and you want to get it off of your mind so that you can feel closer to them again.
2. Plan a sex date
Sex is an important piece of a healthy relationship. By sex it doesn’t mean just intercourse. Sex can mean a bunch of different things to many different people.
Sex is usually the first thing to go when your relationship starts to dwindle… and this is too bad. Sex can be looked as your body’s way of communicating.
Good, connected sex can offer breakthroughs in your relationship and usually gets things back on track for a short period of time….but the more sex you have the easier it is to communicate with each other…
So grab your calendar. Plan a long sex date. Spoil them, and get spoiled.
Turn off your phones, and tv. If you need to get a babysitter do it. Get rid of all of your distractions.
Make passionate love, in whatever way makes the most sense to the both of you. You don’t have to wait for all of your communication to be perfect before you can have insanely fulfilling sex. Often you need to sexually connect first, and then communicate afterwards.
3. Clear out old resentments
Little things tend seem build up over time in any relationship.
Maybe they did something that hurt you months ago and now its snowballed.
Whatever resentments you might have against your partner, you must move past them so your relationship can go to it’s next layer of depth.
First, you must forgive. This will remove most of the emotional charge surrounding the event on your mind. For many, this is easier said than done.
First things first you MUST question whether or not you know the full story (hint: you don’t… you only know your interpretation of that event)
Once you’ve done all of the work that you’re able to do on your side, bring the issue to your partner and invite calm dialogue around that thing that hurts for you.
Tell them “Hey, I’ve been thinking about something that feels a little bit unresolved for me. I’m doing my best not to hold it against you, and I’d love to hear your side of things regarding _____. The story I’m telling myself about it is that (this happened) and (that happened). Can you tell me what was happening in that situation on your side?”
It could be hard to speak about, but it might just be one of the most freeing things that you’ve ever done for yourself and your relationship.
Summary:
It’s time to take your relationship back, and make it a priority to do what needs to be done. If you want it to work as well as it did in the beginning or even better than it was in the beginning, it all starts with your intention (and is carried out in your actions).
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