I was with my husband for 13 years and we had children.
My husband was a cheater, and I knew it. But for some stupid reasons I had put up with it. I don’t know why but I think it is because:
1.) I am saddened to think about him being with other women. I know, you think I am a bit crazy right? But I don’t think I am alone. Sadly I even though I knew he was out screwing other women, I was happy to know he came home to me. Ugh…
2.) I believe I am a pretty insecure person. I had also put on some weight which made me feel even worse. I was in a place where I thought no one would want to be with a person like me. I felt lonely, and the thought of starting over with another person made me have anxiety. I dealt with his cheating because I loved him that much! PATHETIC!
So now let’s get to the point where finally after years I started to get really sick of this charade.
After feeling too much betrayal, worrying all the time if something happened to him, and just plain tired of the arguing, I decided I was no longer going to turn a BLIND eye to this madness.
A light finally went off in my head and in that moment I knew it was time to get the proof I needed and to deal with this head on. It was time to end this bullshit once and for all.
Here’s what I did:
1.) First I pulled phone logs from our phone bill. This was easy, in fact I could do it online just by logging into our account. But the phone bill in the mail was also there. I went through all the numbers and there were a few that were popping up that I never saw before. At first there were no REAL red flags, but I wrote all the numbers down anyway. I suppose it might have been easier just to grab his cell phone when he was sleeping and check his call logs but anyway I got the numbers I needed.
2.) Now, I had to track who or where that number came from. I needed to get the evidence I needed. So after searching long and hard I found a really good reverse phone lookup site called ReverseVerify.com.
They were able to give me pretty much all the info I needed to catch that cheating bastard red handed. But the info I got was only a starting point of my “investigation”. Basically what I did is I took my list of phone numbers I found on the phone bill earlier and entered each one of the “suspicious” ones into the reverse verify reverse phone lookup tool.
This was the first step and it was able to tell me the name associated to each of those phone numbers. I was also able to see the address. Of the 10 or so numbers I entered into the search tool only 2 of them came back suspicious, the rest were people I knew or business numbers. Those 2 names I got were both women and one of them was a lady he works with so I immediately assumed she was the one stealing my husband and I knew where she lived…but in fact I was completely wrong. It was the other name. But you will love HOW I caught them!
First I took the name of the person that the reverse verify phone lookup tool gave to me and then I entered it into the Reverse Verify People Search tool which was able to give me even more information on who my husband had been talking to. It was able to give me pictures of online profiles, and best of all I got a couple social profiles as well. At that point I got her job information from the linkedin profile I got on that search.
Now I basically had her name, where she lives and works. Now for the GRAND finale….
He would always tell me in the morning if he would be working late…so this particular morning he said he was going to be working late and so after his work hours were over I made damn sure I was parked a few houses down from her home. (the address I got from Reverse Verify).
I said I wasn’t going to wait more than an hour to see if he arrived there, but withing 20 minutes of him being done his regular work hours, he had actually arrived at HER HOUSE!!? I definitely was not the type of person to confront this situation because I am kind of scared of conflict, but I took a few pictures on my cell, and got evidence he was there.
When he got home that night I asked him how his late shift was, and he said fine. I asked if he went anywhere else after work, he said no. I made sure to ask him a few times in different ways, just to give him a chance to tell the truth. (which I knew he wouldn’t.)
Then I finally got the nerve to confront him directly and show him the pictures. He was completely caught and there was no way he could deny it. He ended up admitting it and trying to apologize but this was finally the last straw and we ended up getting a divorce because of this, and now I live with my children.
I never felt so free, and I ended up losing 35 pounds and my career excelled! I never realized it but all that bottled up negative energy was dragging me down physically, professionally and mentally.
The moral of my story is don’t ever think you should just settle. Deal with your conflict head on, get the evidence you need first, be smart in getting the proof you need and bust that CHEATING BASTARD!
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